Sunday, September 18, 2016

Teaching Teens To Drive

I'm on driver number 3 here and there are a few things that I have learned through these harrowing, near death experiences that seem to be universal. If you have never had the distinct pleasure of teaching a teenager how to drive, I will share them with you!

* They DO NOT understand the difference between where they are sitting and the middle of the car. I'm guessing this has something to do with bikes and scooters. Where ever they were was where the "vehicle" was. But in a car, they are on the left side. It's a subtle distinction, but when they try to treat themselves as the "center" and thus center the car in the lane, the passenger side (on which you are now seated!) is shoved off the side of the road. This also becomes a problem when trying to go around a parked car. They don't want to get themselves too far over to the left, so we are constantly almost side-swiping everyone!

* They either go really fast or really slow. They start slow but then when you tell them to speed up, they go too fast. It's like they don't understand 35 or 40 mph at all.

*  They stop for everything or they stop for nothing. Everything is better, even if it pisses off the people behind you (and it will.)

* Turning corners is harder than it looks. Or seems when you are doing it. It is, apparently, really freaking hard. 

* Trying to determine when to pull out if there is a car anywhere to be seen in either direction is an art form. You may worry that you will get t-boned before they master it, but no fear. You will just back up traffic all the way to Mexico waiting for the road to clear.

* Four way stops are bad. They never want to take their turn. You could grow old and gray waiting.

*  Looking over your shoulder to change lanes is HORRIFYING because they fear taking their eyes off what's in front of them. It's also horrifying for you as the passenger. If you are going to die, it will probably be here.

* They are afraid of all the other people on the road. Every single one of them. It makes for an interesting experience if you live in a big city and are trying to find a time to get them practice without terrifying them at the same time. Sunday mornings, early, are the best.

* Merging on the freeway is a fate worse than death. For everyone involved. This is where the student driver signs come in handy. Otherwise God knows what will become of you.

Thing 2 had her first lesson today. It is going to be a long 6 months.


  1. I am not looking forward to mom didn't drive, so when I got my license, the first time behind the wheel was with a drivers ed instructor

    1. I wish they still taught duvets ed in schools!

  2. I'm getting stressed just reading this. I used to think this day would never come, now I know it will seem right around the corner. (No pun intended.)