Autocorrect Insanity

You guys.....my autocorrect has gone crazy. It was always a little off, if you know what I mean. But I updated to whatever the new Mac OS is, Snow Elephant Everest or something, and it has gone into crazy overdrive.

Now, whenever I type something incorrectly (because my fingernails are too long and I am a lazy typist, not because I cant spell!) instead of underlining it and offering me something new, it just changes it to whatever it wants, no matter how bizarre and unused the word might be.

I'm not even sure some of this stuff is in English. 

Now all the people of the interwebs think I am a moron who cannot spell and cannot type. Or that I am some sort of weirdo who writes things like "I wish they taught duvet ed in school." Which should be drivers ed, FFS! Because if you need to be taught to use a duvet in school you have worse problems than I do. 

Whats even worse is that I am too lazy to text either, so I always use voice text and that thing is certifiably insane.

I'm pretty sure everyone who has crossed my path lately things I am some sort of blithering idiot! But I;m not! I swear!!  

It's just these evil electronics.