The Story of a Bathroom

I was looking at Pinterest or something the other day and I couldn’t help but notice how far bathrooms have come since I was a kid. Seriously, I think my own kids would be stunned to know what bathrooms were like before. None of that outside business, of course, because I’m not that old. I mean, we had all the functioning parts-shower, tub, toilet and sink. It’s the looks that are so drastically different.

There are things that used to be considered commonplace in bathrooms that would baffle my kids. Or at least kill them with laughter.

Like colored toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper used to come in colors, but only ugly ones. Nothing fun like stripes or anything like that. All pastels. Pink, Peach, Mint and Baby Blue. Why the hell would anyone want TP that was peach colored? To match their bathroom of course! Bathrooms used to be decorated in pastel colors too. And covered in fur! I know, that sounds weird, but truly, there were shower rugs, rugs that hugged the toilet and covers for the toilet lids that were all in this plush shag. And they were pastels. To top off the look, the walls were usually painted the exact same shade of whatever hideous pastel you had chosen. Just for shits and giggles, there were also cloth covers for the Kleenex and all sorts of other things. Go ahead and look up the good old Fingerhut catalog to get a nice overview of just how bad bathrooms could be!

Then there were Readers Digest magazines, a staple of every bathroom. Hell, even people who didn’t get Readers Digest had some in their bathrooms. Since we didn’t have telephones and couldn’t make very important phone calls while we were taking a shit, we needed something to do. If we are being honest, everyone flipped right to the page called “Laughter is the Best Medicine” and read the short funny stories. It’s hard to understand now, but when something funny happened, people would sit down at a table and write it all out in a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, pay money for a stamp and mail it to RD in the hopes it would get published in the magazine. They would have to wait months or try numerous times to get one published. Just so we could have something to giggle over while we were peeing. Today it’s called a “Facebook status update” and everyone does it all day long.

All soaps were bars of soap back then and people had special bars that were for company and special ones for the holidays too. Maybe some people still do this? No one I know, but I bet they are still out there. And OF COURSE they came in all the ugly pastels colors you could imagine…so they matched the bathroom! Also, soap on a rope was a big deal. Don't ask, it was a weird as it sounds.

Your toilets, tubs and sinks all used to come in those colors too, just in case you are wondering. It was spectacular and I hope that no matter what, I do not live long enough to see it come back into style!

#BourdainDay

When I was in 10^th grade I sat next to a girl in English class we will call S. I didn’t really know her and I don’t recall ever talking to her, but since our last names both started with the same letter, our desks were across the aisle from each other.

Then one day, she wasn’t there. To my recollection nothing was said about her absence. Until the word spread through the student body that she had committed suicide. Do you know what the school did about this? Nothing. No talking, no counselors, no nothing.

At 15 years old we were left to sort it out amongst ourselves. And we weren’t very good at it.

I understand that the school most likely thought they were doing the right thing by keeping quiet about it. The old “we don’t want to give anyone ideas” mentality persisted in the 80’s to an amazing degree. They thought if we didn’t talk about it, it would just go away. The problem is that we were talking about it. We just had no guidance or help.

I heard the manner in which she committed suicide. I heard that our tiny town was the “suicide capitol of the US” because we had more suicides per capita than anywhere else. I heard stories of other kids who had died the year or two before this, as evidence of numbers to back up this claim. And the places and ways they had died.

And to this day, I do not know if any of it was true. I suspect now, from an adult perspective, most of it wasn’t. But with no adult intervention, we were left to our devices and rumors can spread rapidly and with authority, no matter how wrong they are.

Today is the first of what some people are hoping will become an annual Bourdain Day. It was just over a year ago that famed chef and TV personality Anthony Bourdain took his own life. Today would have been his 63^rd birthday. So friends of the chef are encouraging people to honor the late chef today by living with intention, trying something new and having a meal and lifting a glass in remembrance. All of which is great because someone should be remembered for the larger than life way they lived, not the way they died.

But let’s not let the opportunity to recognize the suffering that so many people, including Bourdain, live with day to day pass us by. Let’s not try to push his death into the shadows when it is a moment to reach out and try to help someone else into the light. We can honor his memory by acknowledging there are so many more among us who feel the same desperation he felt, and talking about it. Letting them know that they are seen and they are heard and we are here to help if we can, and to listen if we cannot.

The time of pretending these things don’t happen because “it’s better that way” is long gone. It leaves hurting people even more isolated than they already are.

So have a meal and lift a glass and take a moment to check in with someone going through hardships right now. Let them know you love them, are there for them, and listen to what they say. It won’t solve the problems of the world, but it is somewhere to start.

Cancer and Ass Kicking

In case you were unaware, The Hubs likes to watch a lot of really random TV shows. They are usually the type of shows I do not find interesting enough to watch, but are perfectly fine to be running in the background while I play Words with Friends or write blog posts.

The other night he was watching something about trucks and mud bogging and a race and they were doing the little background snippets of the people participating in the race. There was one guy racing who had been diagnosed with cancer in 2006 and he was briefly talking about that. He is cancer free now and his way of putting it was “I decided I was going to fight it and kick cancers ass and I did.”

Now, first and foremost, before anything else let me say that I am really happy for him. I am happy for anyone who goes through the horrible experience that is cancer, chemo and all that comes with it and manages to become cancer free.

 That being said, I hate it when people say things like “I decided I was going to kick cancers ass, and I did.”

Why?

Because the implication is that people who don’t kick cancers ass just didn’t try hard enough. I know that’s not what he means, but that is how it sounds and it rubs me the wrong way every time.

The fact of the matter is, he had a type of cancer that was curable, it was found early enough, and thanks to medical advances and a good medical treatment plan and a team to implement it, he is now cancer free.  I am sure it took a lot of work and sacrifice from him and took a toll on him mentally and physically while it happened. I’m glad he was able to get through it. I wish everyone else who has cancer would have the same outcome. But that isn’t always possible.

Too many people that I love that have had cancer and they all fought like hell. If there was an ass to be kicked, I assure you they were kicking it.

They didn’t all make it though. Some of them, too many of them, died.

And it sure as hell wasn’t for lack of trying.