I'm Sorry, I Wasn't Paying Attention

Do you ever do something that you know you probably shouldn’t? Something that isn’t bad, but might be perceived as rude by the people that you are with, but is kind of a mindless habit?

Things like interrupting, the tone you use, impatience, or not really paying attention to someone.

I know I do. And sometimes you get a moment of clarity where you are standing in line at the grocery store or some and you see someone else doing what you do and you realize that you need to stop.

I had something along these lines happen to me not too long ago and I have really been thinking about it since then.

I have a bad habit of looking at my phone. All the time. Or playing games on it, etc., And the worst part is that I know I am doing it, so I try really hard to act like I am still paying attention to whatever-or whoever- I should be listening too. I ask questions and continue the conversation, giving neither my phone or the person my undivided attention.

That is rude.

And I know it, that’s why I continue the conversation and ask the questions, etc.

I was sitting somewhere with a few people and two of them were having a conversation and one of those people was looking at their phone the entire time they were talking. That isn’t so unusual in this day and age, but the thing that caught my attention was that the Phone Person was continuing the conversation, asking questions, etc., while not really paying attention. And I got a good look at how I behave. I had thought I was doing a good job holding up my end of the conversation when I do this. It became apparent that is not true. It’s painfully obvious that you aren’t paying attention. I took a moment and looked at the face of the other person on the opposite end of this interaction and I saw it all.

The hurt and exasperation and feeling of being ignored. Unimportant, or at the very least less important. I decided right there that I needed to do better. I need to break the habit of constantly checking my phone, looking at it, scrolling it and playing games on it and get back to paying attention to the people I am with.

It won’t be easy, but it is necessary.