F.U. 2016

Music is the soundtrack of our lives. You have heard that one, right? Haven’t we all? But here’s the thing about those trite statements you see on memes and kitten posters, there is a vein of truth running through them. The very reason they are so overused is because they are something most people can relate to.  

I came of age in the 1980’s, graduating high school in 1986 (the very best year of the 80’s) and musically it was great time. For starters, disco had died, which was great in and of itself, but then New Wave happened, along with metal hair bands, techno and an explosion of hip-hop. Michael Jackson released Thriller. MTV took to the air in 1981, Madonna hit like a bomb in 1983 and Purple Rain came out in 1984. Guns and Roses, Bon Jovi, U2, Live Aid. You youngsters jealous? You should be. It was totally bitchin' dude.

2016 has been hard for all music fans, but particularly brutal for those of us who can be transported back to our youth by the sounds of the 80’s. While David Bowie had already cemented his greatness by the 1980’s, he was an ever-present fixture at the top of the charts and playlists for that entire decade. Hearing “When Doves Cry” takes me straight back to the drive-in movie theatre, sitting on the roof my friend’s mom’s station wagon watching “Purple Rain.” Wham’s “Make It Big” reminds me of when my beloved aunt came to visit and I drove her around town blasting that cassette from the boom box in the back seat of my Toyota. She particularly liked “Credit Card Baby.”

I can sing all the words to every song on both those albums by heart. And when I do they evoke a certain feeling. It is nostalgia to be sure, but it is also a feeling of being transported. I feel so close to those days, those times, that I could reach out and touch them if I try hard enough. The 30 years that have passed all fade away and it seems like only yesterday, a mere moment between then and now.

It is to be expected that those who have journeyed life alongside us will pass, but at 53 years old? Or 57? I wasn’t expecting it now, that is for sure. But then 2016 seems to be a year of unexpected happenings. Shitty, unexpected happenings. And while I am NOT okay with any of it, I have had to face the realization that 2016 is one of those nasty-ass bitches who doesn’t give a shit what anyone else wants. She’s just in it to make a name for herself. She opened with David Bowie and before we could shove her unwanted ass out the door, she took George Michaels.

My only consolation is the fact that in 6 days, like it or not, the bitch will be gone.

All I have to say is that between now and then—if one fucking thing happens to Madonna, 2016 will NOT get out of here intact! You hear me 2016???? Not so much as a hangnail, NOT ONE FAKE, BLEACHED BLONDE HAIR ON HER HEAD, or I will take to Twitter and provoke Trump into launching a nuke and ending this whole fucking planet right now.

Fuck You 2016. Get out. You won’t be missed.