Thursday, October 1, 2015

Random Thoughts on Disneyland

Disney vacations are one of the most blogged about things on the planet. You can find just about anything you want on the subject, from Disney with Toddlers to Disney on a Budget. Or even The Secrets of Disneyland or How to make Your Disney Vacation Special. Having just spent a couple of days in Disneyland, Im going to add my two cents worth, but just so you know, they won't be really helpful to you if you are planning a trip there. These are just my random observations after my mini-vacation. If you find any useful information in here....well, good for you.




1) Comfortable shoes are a must, but they only delay the inevitable. Eventually your feet will hurt. The older, fatter, and lazier you are the faster this will happen to you. Mine were screaming by the end of Day 1.

2) There is something about the whole endeavor that makes you feel like a hamster in a wheel. You will walk 10 miles a day, easy, but it's around and around and around in the same place. In between all this walking there will be a TON of standing. It will test your endurance.The older, fatter and lazier you are the harder this will be for you.

3) Don't kid yourself. I do not care what every blog in the universe tells you, there is no way to do Disney "cheaply" or even "cheaper." Be prepared to hemorrhage money, drain college funds and take out loans. A regular sized hamburger, medium fries and a medium drink ( no refills) is $15. Per person. And you will need to eat, more than once.

4) Everyone will wear the mickey ears. Even "gangster" types with their white undershirts as outer shirts, long black shorts, high white socks and neck tattoos. I know because I saw it. And he didn't even have any kids with him.



5) You know those women who won't leave the house without full make-up, done up hair and high heels? They go to Disneyland the same way. I can say that while I don't understand this, I admire their commitment to their look when its 95 in the shade and they are actually standing in a 30 minute line in stilettos.

6) You will see people on their phones everywhere. As they are walking so they are in your way, as they are in line so they are holding up your progress, as they are on the rides! 95% of these people are middle aged women ( with a few men thrown in for good measure). The teenagers, not so much.

7) You can take your 6 year old (maybe he was 7) to Disneyland, you can buy him a Goofy hat, you can wait in line for rides with him, you can get him a giant lollipop, and at some point in the midst of all this, he will still yell "You are the worst Mother EVER!" at you. To her credit, she did not even flinch, let alone scream anything back. Good job Mom.

8) The Indiana Jones ride breaks down C.O.N.S.T.A.N.T.L.Y. I'm not sure what the problem is, but expect it.

9) From the minute the park opens until the second it closes there will be a line of no less than 30 minutes, usually longer, for the Peter Pan ride. Yes, its a kiddie ride. Stop checking your app and stop "waiting for a better time." Its not going to happen.

10) It doesn't matter how old you are or what question you are asking, the park staff will never break character. You will be called a Princess and they will tell 47-year-old you, with a totally straight face, that Winnie the Pooh just left to get some honey and will be right back.


11) There is something that happens, or conversely does not happen, in Australia in September that causes all the Aussies to come to Disneyland. I'm pretty sure it was the second largest concentration of Australian people in the world, outside of Sydney. I have zero explanation as to why this is.

12) Planning to stay in the park from open to close only ever seems like a good idea when you are not there. Come about 2 in the afternoon it seems positively idiotic. By 6pm you will be feeling like you are trapped and looking for an escape. It is this reason that the Disneyland Railroad is still a ride. Who needs to look at dinosaur dioramas? No one, that is who. Yet there is always a line at the station in New Orleans Square. 


13) There will be assorted parades, shows and events all day long. Sit down and watch a few. Given that you paid something close to a gazillion dollars to be there, Disney spares no expense on these things and they are awesome.


14) It doesn't matter how old you are, there is still a magic to it all that never goes away. 

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