Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I Resolve Myself

I have a weird relationship with the New Year holiday.  For the most part I don't like it.  Or maybe care about it?  Aside from having to remember to write a new number on checks, whats the big deal, right?  And I don't write checks anymore anyway, so hey, New Year, same as the Old Year.

But the resolutions.........Oh! How I love the resolutions!  Waaaay too much, to be honest.  Too much for my own good or for the good of anyone around me to be sure.

It's like this...I have never started a diet on any day other than a Monday.  I have never started anything on any day other than a Monday.  I love the "jumping off point" thing it has going on and what bigger, better jumping off point is there than New Years?  So every year I go to bed at 9:30pm and come January 1st, off I jump.

The problem is that by January 1st I have put a lot of thought in my resolutions and I have decided that this is the year I will do All The Things!  Never mind that I decide that every year and I have yet to do ANY of the things, let alone all of them, because it's a New Year and all things are possible!  Most of me knows that this is ridiculous and won't happen, but theres a teeny, tiny, little sliver of me that says "Oh, we can do this.  We can definitely do it this year" and I like that tiny sliver.  I listen to her and I BELIEVE!

So in 2015 I resolve myself to accomplish the following;

I will lose weight!  Obviously I am meant to do this.  Target is conspiring to help me by putting all the diet/exercise things on sale.....what more inspiration do I need? 

I will lose weight by eating healthy foods.....not just any old healthy food the little voice says  Whole 30!  Local! Organic!  

I will exercise!  yes, of course, she says, but what kind? I will Walk, no Run, do a 5K and yoga too, let's not forget the yoga!  Holy Yoga too!

I will get organized!  I will organize my office, my closets, my pantry....ALL THE PLACES EVERYWHERE!  Yes I will!

I will clean my house!  Often.  I will have a cleaning schedule and I will do it every day, always, no matter what!

What else can you do in a year?

I will practice my photography!
I will catch up my scrapbooks that are roughly 10 years behind!
I will get all my work done early in the week...on time!  Faster than on time!
I will read all the books on my reading list!
I will watch all the movies on my Netflix list!
I will watch everything on my DVR!
I will make all the appointments for everyone's Dr and dentist visits on time, even for the OIL CHANGES in the cars!
I will take vitamins!  (why?)
I will spend more time with friends!  (this isn't actually an issue since its what I do best, but I need some success somewhere)
I will grow my own garden....local, organic and FREE!
I will get rid of all the things floating around here that we don't need!
I will save money and stop buying things!
I will cook new foods!  Whole 30, local, organic foods!
I will drink more water and less coffee and wine!  (No...I will NOT)
I will plan an awesome vacation and they will all be excited and grateful!

That's where it starts to get a little more dangerous......

The kids will get good grades!  

Who put me in charge of that?  Well, I did, of course.  Someone has to care about college applications and it surely isn't going to be them!

The kids will bathe regularly, brush their teeth daily, eat healthy (whole 30, local, organic!) foods!

Now I'm resolving for everyone......... 

The yard will be mowed and the pool clean all the time!  This isn't actually my problem, its the Hub's, but Im pretty sure he didn't make any resolutions (slacker) and someone needs to be in charge of all this stuff too.  Besides, how much can one little resolution hurt him?

Then the end of 2015 will come and I.WILL.BE.DONE.

I will have my shit together and I will be able to maintain this togetherness forever!  If some random tragedy befalls me, I will die with EVERYTHING.DONE.

I actually think these thoughts and the sliver? She believes in me.  Who am I to tell her that her faith is misplaced?

This is year 11 of "The Plan for World Domination". 

So far the only "Whole" thing I have eaten is a whole doughnut, but there's still time.

No comments:

Post a Comment